When I was a teenager, I couldn’t decide what career path I wanted to pursue after my high school graduation. While I wanted to earn a comfortable living, money wasn’t the only factor guiding my decision. I also desired to have a job that would allow me to help others in some way. If you’re searching for a rewarding career, consider counseling. Counselors have the opportunity to help people solve complicated problems on a daily basis. For instance, as a counselor, you might help a couple resolve marriage issues, aid a teenager battling an eating disorder, or assist an adult dealing with depression. I didn't end up becoming a counselor, but on this blog, I hope you will discover some of the most interesting aspects of being a counselor.
The thrill of cheating eventually sends you crashing down once your partner finds out about your unfaithful wanderings. While at first it might have felt good to get it all out in the open, you are now left dealing with the guilt left behind as your partner takes forever to figure out how to forgive your actions. In fact, you may be wondering by now how long it will take to get over this hump or if you can live up to all of the hoops you have to jump through to earn your partner's trust again. Finding yourself on the downside of an affair is never easy, but you can rebuild your marriage by following these tips to help both of you heal together.
Be Open But Not Too Open
You can expect lots of questions in the upcoming weeks. Your partner will naturally ask where it happened, how it happened, and how many people it happened with. It is important to understand that your partner deserves some answers. For example, they may need to know if you failed to use protection since it affects their health. However, giving them too much detail can cause further hurt that is unnecessary. For this reason, working with a marriage therapist helps you decipher whether or not revealing new information will be helpful or harmful to the relationship.
Give Them Time
Most affairs don't happen overnight, and you must remember that you have had weeks to months to process what has been going on. For your partner, the discovery of your infidelity feels like the world came crashing down overnight. Don't expect them to get over it within a day or two. Instead, you should expect alternating periods of forgiveness to be broken up with anger all over again until your partner has had time to fully work through their grief and anger.
Establish Fair Boundaries
While you are obviously going to be walking around on eggshells for awhile, it is important to avoid falling into the trap of never being able to regain your partner's trust. This often happens when the cheated upon partner demands the cheater to follow rules such as coming home straight after work or calling to check in on a schedule. Recovering from infidelity is about rebuilding trust, not establishing impossible rules for each person to follow. When you find yourself struggling to figure out what is fair, marriage counseling helps you redefine healthy boundaries that make your partner feel safe while giving you enough room to regain their trust.
Affairs are usually the result of deeper problems within your marriage, yet right now you feel like your cheating is the only issue in the world. By staying strong and making it clear that you love your partner enough to work with them through counseling, you can successfully renew your partner's trust while building a stronger bond that affair-proofs your marriage.
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